Marriott Alumni Magazine

Winter 2016

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overheard in the tanner Oh, I love wool socks. If I have to wear socks, they're going to be wool. • You know those positions in the East are so coveted. I just don't know how to stand out. • I'm going to tell my wife, and she's going to say, " That's lame." • I'm more into the nitty-gritty stuff, like statistics. • How much is a dollar of gold going for these days? • I don't go on dates; I go on interviews. • I guess I wasn't born to be sassy. It's not in my genetics. • According to Facebook we have no mutual friends, which makes me think you're probably a robot. • Is this a social experiment where they decide to make every single printer not work? • This swag isn't just swag; it's a promise. • That degree is like my last relationship: I enjoyed it while I was in it, but it wasn't until after I was out that I realized how crazy it all was. • I'm a heartbreaker test-taker. • I mean, I would love to go out with you, but my boyfriend would have to come along. • I work for the Korean government. South Korea? No, just Korea. • Do these pants make me look like a Dreamsicle? • Listen, Costa Vida, I'm a mother. I know how much four ounces is. • I'm from Scottsdale. It's like Phoenix, but you just add a zero to everyone's incomes. • Why are all the rooms named after people? Are they too good for numbers? • I don't live with my parents; my parents live with me. • These biceps are from lifting finance textbooks. • The best financial decision I ever made in my life was to give up fast food. I am a better man now than I ever was. • The quesadillas in the Blue Line Deli are one of BYU's best-kept secrets, so don't tell everyone you know. • He lives his life based on the principles of Walmart. • I do plan on getting married someday. I just have to start taking girls on dates, which is a lot harder than it sounds. • I'm going to be honest with you, and I don't mean this in a bad way: you look like Donald Trump. • This is not snake oil. It's a carrot, cut in half, that will solve all of your problems. • What is that, a spreadsheet? Get it away from me. • I'm not going to sell my soul for a free T-shirt. Throw in that jacket, though, and we might have a deal. • Always be closing. Always be closing. Always be closing. • Tinder for study groups? Brilliant. • Dude, that's going to look so good on my résumé. • Don't act like you know me, Siri. • You and your sister look very similar, like, in a good way—she doesn't look manly and you don't look like a woman. • It smells good in here. It smells like a girl mixed with an angel's whisper.

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