Marriott Alumni Magazine

Fall 2016

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overheard in the tanner I don't want your socks from your giant monster feet. • It's still doable on a calculator. But don't. • Oh, hi. I tried to call you, but now I will not. • We should start a business. I literally have, like, lots of ideas. • You should go to room 110 right now. It's full of accountants stressed out of their minds. • At the same time, I was kind of like: "Oh yeah, I'm falling in love with you." • There are more options right now than ever before just by the nature of the beast. • I already know how to do all of that right now. • Let's write a research paper on dating in Provo. That'd be sick. • I don't want to go to heaven; none of my friends will be there. • Want to hear a sad story? This morning I shaved my left leg two times instead of both legs once. • That's why I keep a Diet Coke by my bed: to keep from being translated. • Italy is the least worst. • When are you getting engaged? I don't know. Hopefully in five days. • What human being doesn't love all-natural peanut butter? • I get my eyebrows done when I need to motivate myself. • Does it surprise you how many people are here on Friday? Poor unfortunate souls. • After this week I think I'm going to get an ulcer. • Now we have to pretend to be candid. How do we be candid? • Do you have an annoying voice? No, I just talk, and people make fun of me later. • I'm trying to find the appropriate time to sic my family on him. • I'm such a fool. Why? I ordered a salad at Wendy's. • I don't need to be needed nor do I want to be needed. • You aren't even listening to me, are you? I was listening until I started reading this thing about cheese. • I just got lost inside a JCPenney. • I get really super tan in the summer. I look good. • Can I spend all your money? • One time this black dog was chasing me, and I was really scared, but he turned out to be completely blind. • I have to write two four-page papers, and we had two auditions. I had all of these things. I didn't finish half of it. • I do my laundry at her mom's house. Her mom even offered to let my roommates do their laundry at her house. • Dating is about quality, not quantity. • We should have a bonfire. • I can't tell if she's a nice person or not. • Just tell her: "It's not you, it's me." • How do you get out of this building? • I always hold my breath in that elevator because it stinks. • That's why they took away my phone. • She's hatching an egg! • She's excited to change her name to something shorter. I was, like: "Hey, if you have the opportunity, why don't you make it something cool, like Spider."

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